When I was young, children were to be “seen, but not heard.” Stuff your feelings, stiff upper lip, etc. Now, I fear the pendulum has swung way far in the other direction. It’s all about feelings now. That said, feelings are there and easily get our attention, but I’ve found in my 70 years of life, feelings are not a great guide through the difficulties of life. Like being on a sailboat with sails, but no rudder. The Star Wars version of faith, where you “search your feelings” for the right path. Being driven whatever way the wind blows. And it becomes all about you. But rudders come from truth, from godly guidance, from knowing God. Trust in God is so much more valuable than feelings, which can change in an instant. God is a constant; He knows you intimately and your best path through this tough time. God says to hold onto Him with all your mind, heart, soul and strength. Put Him first, and He will give you what you need just when you need it: Guidance, comfort, love, and a path home. My life with God has proven this to be true over and over again. I heartily recommend it!
I totally agree, Linda. It's so true that there was not a lot of talk about feelings for a long time and I'm so glad that has changed! I've found things like "trust in God" to feel like platitudes in this season of life. They even sound a bit dismissive to me. Often "spiritual bypassing" a term for skipping over someone's emotions with a spiritual twist can be harmful when done by others or when we do this to ourselves. I full heartedly believe God is trustworthy but I also see all the psalms of lament and know that God is in no rush for me to skip over my emotions after experiencing trauma. I'm really glad you have found something that works for you though. I hope to do the same as I press in and don't shy away from this season. (:
I'm glad to see you here again, friend. And wow - your words have hit me so hard. You've perfectly captured what I've been feeling lately, too. "Maybe there isn’t a finish line like I’d hoped for but maybe I can inch my way closer and closer to a whole and full life even with these new pieces of my story." There's so much struggle and sadness to wade through, but I'm glad we're on this journey together. Love you!
I feel like grief has a way of deeply transforming us like nothing else can. Thank you for letting us bear witness to such a sacred journey 🫶🏻
Thank you Celia! 💛 I’m so grateful you’re here!!
I had some possibly postpartum depression after our 2nd baby came...recall going to a few counseling sessions back then (he's 32 now!).
Wow! Incredible. So glad you got help.
Author is Aundi Kolber
I’ve read both! I’m a big fan of Aundi’s work! She’s incredible.
See books Try Softer & Strong Like Water by Christian clinician & mom too on trauma recovery.
When I was young, children were to be “seen, but not heard.” Stuff your feelings, stiff upper lip, etc. Now, I fear the pendulum has swung way far in the other direction. It’s all about feelings now. That said, feelings are there and easily get our attention, but I’ve found in my 70 years of life, feelings are not a great guide through the difficulties of life. Like being on a sailboat with sails, but no rudder. The Star Wars version of faith, where you “search your feelings” for the right path. Being driven whatever way the wind blows. And it becomes all about you. But rudders come from truth, from godly guidance, from knowing God. Trust in God is so much more valuable than feelings, which can change in an instant. God is a constant; He knows you intimately and your best path through this tough time. God says to hold onto Him with all your mind, heart, soul and strength. Put Him first, and He will give you what you need just when you need it: Guidance, comfort, love, and a path home. My life with God has proven this to be true over and over again. I heartily recommend it!
I totally agree, Linda. It's so true that there was not a lot of talk about feelings for a long time and I'm so glad that has changed! I've found things like "trust in God" to feel like platitudes in this season of life. They even sound a bit dismissive to me. Often "spiritual bypassing" a term for skipping over someone's emotions with a spiritual twist can be harmful when done by others or when we do this to ourselves. I full heartedly believe God is trustworthy but I also see all the psalms of lament and know that God is in no rush for me to skip over my emotions after experiencing trauma. I'm really glad you have found something that works for you though. I hope to do the same as I press in and don't shy away from this season. (:
I'm glad to see you here again, friend. And wow - your words have hit me so hard. You've perfectly captured what I've been feeling lately, too. "Maybe there isn’t a finish line like I’d hoped for but maybe I can inch my way closer and closer to a whole and full life even with these new pieces of my story." There's so much struggle and sadness to wade through, but I'm glad we're on this journey together. Love you!
Love you friend! So thankful we get to process it all together 🫶🏼