Before I got pregnant with my son Ira I won a free year of coffee at our local Dunkin’. The promotion included one free coffee a week but I roped some non-coffee drinkers into standing in line with me so I ended up with four packets and four free coffees a week for a year.
When my pregnancy symptoms started and never stopped (shoutout to morning sickness that lasts all day and night) coffee wasn’t in the cards for me. At times I couldn’t even keep a sip of water down let alone coffee.
After Ira was born, my husband and I finally knew with certainty I was going to be okay although I had a fresh cut on my belly. Ira was hitting all the right milestones in the NICU but we were still filled with fear as desperate new parents watching our new baby covered in tubes and cords while we waited for our brief few minutes to talk to his doctor each day during rounds.
I woke up without my baby in my room each day in our extended hospital stay. Each day Dunkin’ iced coffee and donuts arrived to our hospital room. Without intense nausea anymore I could sip on my favorite iced coffee and for a moment this simple joy made me smile. I brought my coffee with me to scrub in to the NICU with the surgical sponges feeling like I was a doctor in a medical TV drama but I wasn’t.
I was just a terrified new mom. But now, with my favorite coffee.
Ira was born in September so the gift of daily Dunkin’ was even better—my favorite pumpkin flavor was in season.
When we left the hospital we had a full car from living in the hospital. We received gifts of Dunkin’ deliveries every day we were there. I popped my iced coffee in the cupholder and we started to drive away from the hospital.
My phone connected to the car bluetooth and automatically started playing a song where it had left off—the song that was playing over the speakers in the OR when my son was pulled from my belly and they were rubbing him and moving quickly around the surgical table saying, “we’ve got to get him to cry!”
Hearing the song immediately jolted my body back to that moment. My husband and I held hands and cried in the car. It was like we had lived a thousand life times in just a few days.
At home, we stayed on the NICU schedule. Everyone wanted to know what they could do, how they could help. Most of my friends came by and sat on my couch. They all got different versions of the same story. I was usually welcomed with an iced coffee from Dunkin’. No one really knew what to do or say but they knew an iced coffee was a welcome offering.
Eventually the visits slowed down and I was past the part of postpartum where people check in on you. I’ve heard other moms talk about how lonely it can be. It still feels hard and new to you as a mom with foreign stretch marks but everyone else has seemed to move on. I texted a friend and told her I was having a tough day with Ira. He wouldn’t nap, he kept crying, I had no family in town to help and my husband was busy with meetings all day. I just wanted to sit down. I was so lonely.
She gave me some professional mom advice—put that baby in the car, drive until he sleeps, and get yourself a treat. So I went to Dunkin’.
He fell asleep just as I pulled in the driveway at our house after crying his way through the drive thru. We sat in the car together until he woke up an hour later. He finally got some much needed rest and I got to sit down and enjoy my iced coffee.
As the months went by I just kept buying Dunkin’ every day. The gifts of coffee from friends, gift cards, and visits were long gone but I determined it was a gift I could give to myself. As my Dunkin’ coupons dwindled, I continued buying myself Dunkin’ until I found out about another local Dunkin’ promotion. We showed up with Ira in a Dunkin’ Munchkin onesie and I was given another free year of Dunkin’.
I think it is safe to say I had a rough start to motherhood. I honestly don’t know at this point if there are any moms who don’t. I think those moms mostly exist in a pretend online world where they don’t tell the truth. I read that the greatest gift you can give to another mom is being honest about your own journey in motherhood. I love being a mom and wouldn’t trade it for the world. But truly, it was a rough start.
Even though I thought I was prepared for anything, I realized there was no way to prepare for what I went through. Going for walks, talking to friends, therapy, exercise—it all helped.
A less popular, simple joy for me became my ritual to get Dunkin’ every day. The employees know my name. Most days, I stop by after I leave the gym. Now, Ira is on a nap schedule and when we get home after my workout I put him to sleep and get to drink my coffee and enjoy some “me time.”
It’s so simple and so delightful. At first I wondered if a few dollars a day was too much to spend on coffee. A female investing company Ellevest often talks about the trope of saving on coffee and investing instead and how the math doesn’t work out. They wrote, “we’re definitely not gonna solve anything by giving up fancy coffee. Full stop. A $5 latte (or a $6 or $7 one) isn’t going to ruin your life.”
It won’t ruin your financial life buying coffee daily. I’d go even further and say it might actually save your life some days.
For me as a new mom it was a simple way to say to myself each day I still care about me and I’m still investing in things I enjoy.
As a Christian, I know the pushback. Why do things we like? Isn’t that hedonistic and selfish? Doesn’t God call us to the serious business of suffering and thinking seriously about him?
Let’s not get out of control here.
I am simply talking about delighting in my favorite coffee each day. I actually think it honors God buying my daily Dunkin’. Crazy? Maybe. Or maybe not—because for me that cup of iced coffee is full of delight.
I delight in the mundane each time I take a sip. It’s a truly simple joy and a moment where I experience God’s presence, kindness and love for me because I get to enjoy this life even when hardship and suffering come with it. “Whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do it all to the glory of God” (1 Corinthians 10:31).
My iced coffee falls into that verse, right? It tells me to pause. Take a sip. Smile. Even on days when it’s really hard. To think to myself, I really like this. And to remember to delight in the little gifts from God that come in the midst of challenging times.
If you’re looking for an excuse to buy yourself more treats, you’re welcome. Here it is: finding enjoyment in little things in life helps us to find enjoyment in life with God.
So, what is your equivalent? Where do you find God’s presence in something so simple and small it may even feel silly to admit it?
I would have to agree with you on the daily outing for coffee being my delight that truly brings me life in more ways than one! But we all must know.. what is your fave Dunkin’ drink that just does it for you? lol. I know I’ve asked before. 🙃 and what’s the fall flavor? Can’t wait for that!! So glad you’ve found this thing of delight, even on the hard days. 🤍
I love this post!! <3 Continuing to pray for you, J and Ira as you grow as a family and closer to the Lord through motherhood/parenthood. My go to was always Sonic because we didn't have a Dunkin' :)